Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Birth of a Nation’s Box Office Flop & the Need for Black Men to Take Responsibility For Their Actions Instead of Blaming Black Women for their Failures All the Goddamn Time

Image: Mandalay Pictures
You done messed up, hoteps! Nate Parker’s The Birth of a Nation flopped hard on its opening weekend. This is despite stellar promotion and critical reviews across the board. Perhaps it was an off week, or maybe Girl on the Train was just that on point that you couldn’t compete. Or maybe PEOPLE DIDN’T WANT TO SEE A FILM PRODUCED BY AN UNREPENTANT (alleged) SEXUAL PREDATOR. Fact is, it did not do that well, and most people would see these factors and think that any combination of these reasons makes sense. But you have outdone yourselves this time, hoteps. You ignored all of the possible reasons and decided that there was one insidious culprit responsible for The Birth’s abysmal first weekend: the black feminist.
On 9th October, a hotep named “Special Cloth” penned an article called “Birth of a Nation’s Box Office Flop and the Unrepentant Pettiness of the Black Feminist”. She directly placed the blame on black feminists and their “male minions”. Hoteps just HATE men who respect women. She placed the source of the immense shade that black feminists threw that destroyed The Birth on the fact that he has a white wife. She then accused black feminists of putting out a hit job on Nate Parker based on his homophobic statements regarding considering roles. Finally she summed up by saying that the “Black Girl Goodfellas” kept bringing up the rape allegation and subsequent acquittal, and THAT is why the movie tanked! Because black feminists be petty, yo!
The article is the online equivalent of a news article, mugshot and string-laden corkboard in the basement of a bitter, obsessed ex-cop in a gritty conspiracy crime drama. I imagine that Ms. Cloth was in the middle of the article and in a gravel voice yelled, “It’s not in my head! It’s you! And you! AND YOU! We’ll all go down if you don’t listen to me!” And then she flipped a table and stormed out of the room.
Something the article DOESN’T do is consider a few things. Perhaps, after years and years of people telling them to go with their conscious in making decisions on who they wish to support, they finally did, but it is not what hoteps expected. Perhaps the reason people didn’t want to see it because of Nate Parkers homophobic comments, AND his shameful shadow of an explanation for the sexual assault allegations years ago. Perhaps people were put off by the reports of him bullying the victim while in college, or that the one conviction in the case was overturned. Perhaps they were not impressed with his statements when he found out that the victim killed herself, and he made a statement expressing sorrow by saying how terrible HIS ordeal was, with no concern for the woman or her family. Perhaps black women are sick of falling in line and defending black men who HAVE done abusive things to women, all because the mostly white show business industry has told us that this new black man is the new positive black icon that we are supposed to worship. Perhaps, in the 21st Century, black women AND men are tired of being told that they have to like someone based solely on the fact that they’re black, and they are sick of excusing erstwhile egregious crimes committed. Bottom line, maybe black women don’t want to get Cosby’ed again.
Here’s a better title for the article: called “Birth of a Nation’s Box Office Flop and the Need for Black Men to Take Responsibility for Their Actions Instead of Blaming Black Women for their Failures All the Goddamn Time”.
I’ve said it again and again…and again: hoteps love perpetuating white supremacy, and blaming black women for every goddamn thing is a staple of white supremacy. From white supremacists’ mouths, black women are sex crazed jezebels who do nothing but pop out babies and live high on the hog on government provided dollars. From hotep mouths, black women are being “controlled” by The Man®, who use feminism to convince them to be women are sex crazed jezebels who do nothing but pop out babies and live high on the hog on government provided dollars, with no NEED for a man! Also, somehow, Planned Parenthood is tricking black women into getting abortions or some stupid shit. So they’re popping out babies, yet they’re always getting abortions. Another subset of Schroedinger’s Negro, I guess.
It is highly likely that people made decisions to not see it because of Nate Parker’s callousness in talking about the rape case, and more callousness in not showing any real remorse when finding out his accuser is dead. He was acquitted, fine. However, given the way he conducted himself immediately after and years after the incident, even if what he did was not a definition of rape, he could have at least admitted that he had an immense lack of judgment that night, or that he was sorry for the pain that the accuser had been suffering all that time to the point that she couldn’t take it. You can throw 1000 Gabrielle Unions into your press package to mitigate the scandal, if the main suspected perpetrator doesn’t look remorseful, there’s no point.
The real reason that The Birth flopped is that not enough seats were sold to make profit. The majority of this country is white, and the majority of moviegoers are white. White bodies did not occupy the seats. You see hoteps? This was your ONE opportunity to blame The Man® for something legitimate, instead of for homosexuality or birth control, and you blew it! The Man® didn’t see the movie, and you didn’t pounce! You were too busy hating black women to straight up blame white public for not going to see The Birth! You messed up! Now we know your secret. You didn’t blame The Man®, partially because The Man® helped fund the movie, and partially because hoteps are just white supremacists in blackface. Now the truth is out there, and nobody cares, just like your hotep Roots. Now go on and don’t vote so that you can blame more things on stuff over which you had some modicum of control.
…Too soon?

#HypotheticalLivesMatter and #SchroedingersNegro

This weekend, hell froze over. The Donald Trump apologized for something! He finally felt the pressure to do a mea culpa for something he said into a hot mic in 2005. The told Billy bush that he scheming on sleeping with a married woman. He also said that because one is rich and famous that he can pretty much act the way he likes toward women. He can even, “grab them in the pussy”.
Fuck whoever made this meme, but with
their consent.
Many defended his talk, saying that this is “just how guys talk”. So needless to say, I purged a LOT of Facebook friends over the weekend. What The described is the textbook definition of sexual assault. If your guy friends talk like that, then they should be on a sex offender registry. During the second presidential debate, Anderson Cooper asked if that is how he carries himself around women, and The negated his own apology by saying that it was just “locker room talk”. It WOULD be “just” locker room talk, if the only people in the locker room were Brock Turner, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, Cee-Lo Green, Ben Roethlisberger, Jerry Sandusky, and Bill Cosby. Also, when the hell was the last time The has been in a locker room? He thinks exercise is unhealthy! Sean Hannity defended his best buddy by stating that even King David had 500 concubines, neglecting to state that another word for concubine is SEX SLAVE. There is also an idiotic meme going around with the cover of 50 Shades of Grey on it, stating, “If women are so outraged at Trump’s use of naughty words, who in the hell bought 80 million copies of 50 Shades of Grey?” It’s funny, because the person who made the meme doesn’t know the difference between CONSENT and ASSAULT.
Many finally condemned the fuck out of The, though. Sen. John McCain pulled his endorsement of The, as did Sen. Kelly Ayotte, Rep. Bradley Byrne, Rep. Jason Chaffetz, Sen. Susan Collins, Sen. Jeff Flake, US Chamber of Congress Chair Rob Engstrom, Carly Fiorina, and Alabama Governor Robert Bentley, among many others. You KNOW you done messed up when ALABAMA says, “Whoa, too far, bro!” Even Paul Ryan cancelled The’s appearance at a campaign event, and he refuses to defend him...though he won’t unendorse him. Even the Republican National Convention has cut all funds to The’s campaign! His own party doesn’t have his back! So though he still has some support, many are not having any more of The.
I see your point, but...
Of course, there was a backlash to the backlash. People pointed out how The disparaged Mexicans, immigrants, Muslims, disabled people, black people, military veterans and their families, but all of a sudden, Republicans are incensed because he disparaged a white woman??? How typical!...One problem with this meme: The has disparaged MANY white women. Ask Rosie O’Donnell and Megyn Kelly. You can even refer to the women who explicitly accused The of sexual assault including Ivana Trump, incidentally the more the amount of women than The brought to the second debate to attempt to attack Hillary Clinton. So it wasn’t white women that was the line. It was HYPOTHETICAL white women.
Republicans have been using hypothetical people to justify everything from loosening gun laws to excusing campus rape, from banning refugees to disenfranchising black people. The ever threatening “bad guy with a gun” can only be stopped by the ever vigilant “good guy with a gun”. Maybe there’s rape on campuses, but what about the women who lie about rape? The black community is devastated by absent dads and drugs, so we NEED to stop and frisk them! Maybe if their single mothers would get a job and get off of welfare, they wouldn’t be “queens” of welfare! And what about those sneaky “radical Islamic terrorists” who will sneak in with the refugees? Is MOOslims want to be trusted, they need to report the bad ones! Also, Skittles or something. We NEED to stop those who would commit voter fraud! The opioid epidemic is because “D-Money” keeps coming to our suburbs and selling heroin and then fucks our white women when on the way out of town! We need shut down Planned Parenthood, because what if we abort the baby who will cure cancer?
And Let’s not forget the ever ominous Obama. He’s a secret gay Kenyan MOOslim. He’s going to take away our guns. He stepped on our civil liberties. He is inciting race riots. But he’s ALWAYS on vacation.
Thanks, Cafe.com. Frog sipping tea, indeed.
These are all part of the Republicans’ imaginary rogues gallery. None of these magical imps are real. Every statistic shows that more guns freely distributed means more gun deaths, and it has nothing to do with who is “good or bad”. The “absent black father” is a damn myth, assumably astride a paisley unicorn. White people have always been the majority of welfare recipients, so the black “welfare queen” is a myth as well. Most of people receiving food stamps are working multiple jobs, as well, so the idea of a lazy black woman popping out babies and living in the lap of luxury on YOUR taxpayer dime is as existent as good reason to fly a confederate flag if you’re truly not racist or ignorant. Poverty and drugs DO exist in the black community, but at not much higher a rate as in the “white” community. Black poverty is at about 25%, which means 75% are NOT living in poverty. Let’s also point out that there is NO SUCH THING AS BLACK ON BLACK CRIME. It’s just crime. STFU. The National Review, a CONSERVATIVE site, admitted that the rate of false rape allegations is 2 to 8%. Most refugees, especially ones from Syria, are women and children. Regardless, most Muslim refugees are looking for a better life, not a better blast radius. American Muslims REPORT suspicious activity ALL THE TIME, so acting like they are not is either oblivious or racist, or obliviously racist. A higher percentage of Muslims won the Nobel Peace Prize than have committed terrorist acts. If Republicans cared so much about domestic terrorism, they would be profiling straight white men. Voter Fraud has never been a problem, and when it was, it was committed by Republican operatives, not people in the “hood” or illegal immigrants. There have been no reports of trans women assaulting women or children in bathrooms. There have been PLENTY of reports of straight men assaulting women and children, though, and they don’t even need to go into bathrooms! And the only way the opioiod epidemic was because of a guy named “D-Money” is if it was a Dr. Money who prescribed it, and if he fucked all the white women and she got an abortion, maybe that fetus was the next Rembrandt, or maybe it was the next Jeffrey Dahmer. Speculating on what a clump of cells could have been is futile, and is no reason to defund Planned Parenthood for 3% of their business, so stop pretending this was about the health of the woman or child, and admit that it is strictly about control and unhealthy obsession with creating windmills to fight.
And finally, Barack Obama. There is President Barack Hussein Obama, and then there is the Schroedinger’s Negro that Republicans have concocted named Barack HUSSEIN Obama. How is he this sinister founder of ISIS, closet gay Kenyan Muslim married to a homocidal transwoman, whose every action is a subversive attempt to take away guns and force people into FEMA camps or establish a socialist caliphate or incite a race war, yet he is always on vacation ALL THE TIME? Barack HUSSEIN Obama doesn’t exist. I don’t even need to put a reference to tell you that Barack hussein Obama was born in motherfucking Hawaii, and even if he wasn’t, His mother was an American citizen, so it doesn’t matter, or it would have mattered for McCain and Romney as well. He’s said a million times that he is a Christian, and before that agnostic, but even if he WERE Muslim, IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A SECULAR GOVERNMENT. Not one restrictive gun law has been signed by Obama. Keep in mind that a gun BILL would have to be written and passed by both houses of Congress, and that has not happened, even AFTER 20 children were murdered in Connecticut. Again, more proof that Republicans don’t give a fuck about real people, just hypothetical ones. Obama has been somewhat silent on race matters. I can recall only a few times when he addressed race, so if he is trying to incite a race war, is by being the one big dude right before a bar brawl who silently folds his arms while his boys are wildin’ out behind him. Regarding his caliphate, I'm not sure if killing bin Laden and done bombing targets all over the Middle East is a good way to start one. There is a short list of everything Barack Hussein Obama actually has done while in office. There are top [number] lists everywhere that highlight major things like the Lily Ledbetter Act, Affordable Care Act, nationwide LGBT marriage, but he has been busy. He is in no way perfect, but saying that Obama hasn’t done anything is flat out lying to yourself at this point. He likely was able to do this because he has taken fewer vacation days than GW Bush. In fact, as of 2014, he’s taken fewer vacation days than every president since Jimmy Carter. So the Schroedinger’s Negro Barack HUSSEIN Obama is a wanton tyrant who is destroying society yet lazy as fuck. The real Barack Hussein Obama doesn’t seem to stop working much, and all he’s doing is his damn job.

None of the bogeymen that the Republicans have been warning us about are actual people, so it makes sense that they had no problems with everything The said, up until now, when he assaulted a hypothetical target that doesn’t exist! That poor mystical woman! No one can know her ethereal suffering. Not even the ACTUAL WOMEN THAT THE HAS INSULTED AND/OR ASSAULTED. So let’s applaud the RNC and the “brave” Republicans who cut ties with The Donald Trump, but let’s keep throwing shade at them because the breaking straw was a hypothetical human being, as are all of the “people” on which they base their platform.

Friday, September 23, 2016

I Hope #BettyShelby Is Tried as a Shitty Cop, Not a WOMAN Cop

I did a lot of “wait-whating” this week. On Thursday afternoon, a Tulsa DA announced that prosecutors would charge Officer Betty Shelby with manslaughter for shooting and killing black unarmed Terence Crutcher on Monday.
Wait, what?
This happened within days, not weeks or months, of the incident. The Media® didn’t even waste time victim blaming Mr. Crutcher! In fact, with the exception of rumors of him being on PCP, most of the news about him was positive.
Wait, what?
I saw pictures of him singing in church and playing instruments and donning in really nice suits! He was turning his life around! He was going to school for music! He had a big, loving family! He looked like a big angel! Nary a mug shot to be found in The Media®. Meanwhile, all of the possible dirt to be found on Officer Shelby was dug up and brought to the surface.
Wait, WHAT?
With the exception of the presumably obligatory smiling officer yearbook picture, there was very little positive information about her past. In the past, she admitted to using drugs and had to take a drug education class…ok, well it was marijuana, but STILL! She was accused of using excessive force twice. She and her boyfriend filed restraining orders against each other because they went “Shaven Britney Spears” on each other’s cars. She wasn’t even on the Crutcher call; she and a partner were heading to a domestic violence call and just came upon Mr. Crutcher.
All the coverage of this is like an updated version of Freaky Friday where the unarmed black man and the police officer switch places, so the officer is being treated like a dead black man, and the dead black man is being treated like the killing officer. I initially thought that they were going to try Officer Shelby as a black man, which would be a BIG switch for these cases, but now I’m afraid that she’ll be tried, not as a black man, not as a shitty cop, but as a woman cop.
OMG, STFU, dude.
Implications of this are wide. I tweeted out that I hope she’s just tried as a bad cop and that I’ll bet that someone will use this incident to say that a woman shouldn’t be a beat cop, and sure enough, within hours, I heard a healthy dose of misogynoir and misogynivoire™. A white dude at told me that a little white woman should not be allowed to drive a squad car, because she might not be able to overpower a potential bad guy. BRILLIANT! Insinuating that white women are fragile little flowers, even though the ones in uniform had to go through grueling training! Magnifique! A black dude said something similar, but added a little bit of colonialism-based racial stereotyping in there, saying that white women are historically “afraid” of the archetype of the big black man, so she panicked. Ah, yes. Leave it to a Hotep to find a way to perpetuate white supremacist views and coat it in chocolate. I would like to get the addresses of these people, go to DicksByMail.com, and send them each a bag of gummy dicks for them on which to munch, except I want them to KNOW that it’s from me.
Officer Shelby’s actions do NOT reflect the potential actions of every woman in uniform. Not that it is relevant, but she was not even in the car alone. She had a partner. Even if she WAS in the car alone, her gender has nothing to do with her ability to police. I know women police officers. Some of them are large, some of them are small. ALL of them can take down a 300lb cokehead with as little as a pen, so miss me with that “women are weak” argument. The grotesque Hotep argument that because she’s a little white woman, she’s probably scared of all big black men is not only the plot of Birth of a Nation (the rapey one, not the one BY the rapey one), it mixes racism with the myth of the weak-minded, “hysterical” woman. A lot of arguments against women taking leadership roles and beat cop roles and combat roles in the military begin with the idea that women are too “hormonal” and will do something irrational at a critical time. Like, somehow their uteruses will sail on a river of period blood up to their brains and control their motor functions a la Ratatouille and make them hit the Big Red button and destroy the world. She was described as being “over emotional” and being influenced be her husband in the hovering helicopter saying that Crutcher looked like a “bad dude”. Because apparently, her flighty lady brain wouldn’t be able to make any decisions on its own! So expect this incident to be the latest piece of, “SEE?! I told you!” The fact is that men are as “hormonal” as women, but they’re different hormones. And let’s be real: Since civilization, how many women initiated wars compared to men? How many women executed mass genocides? How many women murdered their husbands in domestic violence disputes, compared to men? How many women have drugged men and violently assaulted them? Numbers don’t lie. As much as we love watching our World Star Hip Hop “cat fight” videos and movies about the “crazy” spurned women who goes nuts and tries to kill her ex’s new wife, men perpetrate the majority of murders and assaults and wars and violence in the world. And women? Women be shopping*.
Putting women on the force can actually de-escalate a lot of violence and rash actions. The influx of women executives in board rooms has turned profit in companies, because wiser, more intuitive decisions were made. Women in the military have been instrumental, even before they were officially allowed in combat roles. I’ll bet that they can garner more intel, as they often have better access to speak to women and children, especially in regions where men usually are not allowed to talk to women at all. Women on police forces have made it easier for female victims to come forward in give in depth details about crimes against them. Women on the force is definitely not the problem. Betty Shelby on the force definitely is.
Given Oklahoma’s history of being a less-than socially progressive state, it wouldn’t surprise me that the Tulsa DA would throw Betty Shelby under the bus in order to perpetuate the narrative that women cannot handle tense situations. This is the state that gave us unconstitutional anti-sharia laws and the Black Wall Street Massacre. Do you really think that all of a sudden, they actually care about black lives, or any lives? They were not so quick to prosecute anyone for the 14 unarmed people in the last 2 years who perished at the hands of police or in police custody. I highly doubt that they turned over a new leaf so quickly, not after over 100 years of sexism and racism. Remember, this is the same state where a scrotum of bros happily sang about lynching any people of color who would like to join their fraternity.
I am glad that there is a charge so soon after the shooting, and I hope that this will be a transparent, fair trial. Looking at the video, Betty Shelby is not a shitty WOMAN cop; she is just a shitty cop. I am, however, very worried that the Betty Shelby trial will be an instance of throwing one group under the bus to shut up another group, all while not really addressing the inherent problem. Also, I can’t afford to send bags of gummy dicks to everyone who perpetuates the “women are weak” or the “black men are inherently scary and violent” narrative.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

#BlackAtWork: When "Look Professional" Means "Look Like a Straight White Man" UPDATES

Isn’t great that we live in a world where three men can decide unanimously that a black woman’s hair is a fireable/unhireable offense? The 11th US Court of Appeals decided that it’s not racist to not hire someone based on their hair type. Chastity Jones lost a job opportunity specifically because of her dreadlocks, was not valid, as her hair didn’t fit an immutable characteristic of racial discrimination. In 2013 The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission filed a suit on behalf of Ms. Jones against a Mobile, AL insurance claims processing company. In 2010 the company gave her an offer since she apparently was qualified. The HR director then told her that she had to get rid of her locs because “they tend to get messy”. Of course, Ms. Jones said something to the effect of, “That’s ridiculous”, and the company rescinded their offer. The EEOC case hinged on the fact that dreadlocks are culturally associated with people of African descent. The judges decided against that, as dreadlocks are a hair STYLE, not a hair TYPE. So now that we have this question out of the way, can we finally get to the heart of the matter and just admit something?
“Look Professional” is just dog whistle for “Look as much like a straight white man as possible”.
The fact that the HR director said that locs “tend to get messy” shows that this was completely an aesthetic decision on the company’s part. For one thing, dreadlocks, when tended to, are NOT messy. THey are probably one of the more manageable ways to deal with natural hair. For another, I fail to see how hair relates to the ability to process insurance claims. Are you supposed to manipulate the pen and computers with your hair at the company, and only straight hair will make it work correctly? Please; they just don’t like black hair.
I know, I know, there are plenty of other cultures in Asia and Europe who have the ability and have historically locked their hair, but let’s not pretend the dreadlocks in the United States were not primarily introduced and popularized by people of African descent. Locs were mainly a religious thing, but because the religion wasn’t Christianity, they were used as an excuse to discriminate against and criminalize blacks until locs and blacks were more mainstream. Now they are prevalent everywhere, from the street to fashion shows (I’m looking at you, Marc Jacobs), so now it’s “normal”...they’re also still used to discriminate against and criminalize black people. I have five dumb Predator jokes in my head that I heard from both black and white people to show how “scary” dreadlocks are.
Before dreadlocks, braids were the controversial hair style of choice. Before braids, any type of cornrow. Before that, the high top fade. Before that, it was the afro that was the offending hair style. And before that, just having natural black hair was enough of an excuse to fire to/not hire a person. This was the impetus for so many hair straightening products for black people. From the straightening comb to chemical perms, black people have been literally poisoning and  burning the fuck out of their scalps, just to get a job and look as our white male employers would like us to look. Hell, It’s partially why I have a shaven bald head now!

UPDATE: A black woman friend of mine just told me that when she shaved her head, she was told that she looked "unprofessional". Mind you, she does not work on a tarmac where too much moisturizer might cause glare and crash a plane. She works at a desk. So just sayinf, "Fuck it all", and going with the bald look is out of the question for black women, too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
UPDATE: A white woman friend who works as a paramedic and/or superhero (she'll never admit it) told me about a time that she was admonished for having red hair. It's not even RED, like "your mother obviously had an affair with Ronald McDonald" red. It's just red, like "I initially thought it might be natural" red. Mind you she is a paramedic (and avenging angel of our city). She daily goes out and has to revive people and lift people larger than her and attain vital statistics from them to maintain their lives (and thwart midnight museum and bank raids by ninjas and mobsters). If anything, given that she'd be in an ambulance with a red cross or something on it, the red hair would EXEMPLIFY her passion for work (and strike fear in the hearts of the criminal underbelly). However, her boss not only didn't like it, he added a little bit of infantilization, acknowledging that he knows how long it takes for "you girls" to get their hair fixed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It doesn’t stop at just hair. Never forget #TeacherBae. I would love to hear how many times women with...um...special assets...were admonished or fired because of their body types. Blame it on the clothes all you want; when you reach a certain size, especially when parts of you reach a size and other parts stay small, All clothes are tight. Deny that all you want, it’s true. Any time I see someone be punished for wearing “unprofessional dress”, I imagine the same outfit on someone super skinny, and I realize that punishment is utter bullshit.
Even if we DO have “professional” hair, if we DO dress “professionally”, that is no guarantee we’ll feel welcome in the workplace. It’s been more than a few times that I wore the traditional office polo and khakis, the Standard White Collar Uniform™, and still, co-workers would come up to me to demand I fix a pipe or mop a floor or something. I fucking sit in the cubicle next to you, Frank. We overcompensate so that doesn’t happen, and we get joked for “overdressing”. Sometimes that doesn’t even help. I was the branch manager of an IT department, wore a shirt and tie daily, while my henchmen wore the Standard White Collar Uniform™. Into the office comes a visiting manager from another branch, and he walks up to the one white dude in the office and asks, “You’re in charge here, right? I need blah blah blah…”
My point is, any deviation from Pleasantville-style “straight white man” is considered “not professional”. Unless you’re working where your hair might get caught in a machine, or a ring might facilitate electrocution, form of dress or amount of tattoos has nothing to do with how well someone can communicate with coworkers and do one’s job. Claims that it’s a “distraction to coworkers” is just code that the coworkers are too unprofessional to do their job. Hair, especially black women’s hair, is not the problem. Let’s hope this case gets appealed, and the judges aren’t a bunch of “professional” judges.

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