Monday, August 22, 2016

We Forget That Nate Parker Has Been Hoteping for a Long Time

I don’t think there was one black friend who WASN’T excited to see The Birth of A Nation, the mini-biopic about Nat Turner and his famous raid. Contrary to what your Fox News addicted uncle may prattle out of his mouth, it is NOT because black people hate white people and want to see them all die. It is because it is a slave narrative, which is definitely part of our collective history, but it is not a 2-hour snuff film or suffer porn that way most antebellum period pieces that focus on African Americans is. Trust me, I loved Roots and new Roots and 12 Years a Slave. They are stories that need to be told, I suppose in Roots case, twice. It IS our history, and it is important that it doesn’t get footnoted away for the Texas School Board to euphamize as “the time of involuntary immigration”, or some infuriatingly inane shit like that.
Black stories during slave times get emotionally tiring, though. The pride that some white people feel watching a period piece about troops marching into Berlin to punch SS elite in their crooked crossed dicks is directly proportional to the moroseness I feel when seeing slaves being the subjects of ethnic snuff films under an Alabama sun. That is because these things happened, hyperbole set aside, and they happened to people who were my ancestors. Part of my family suffered these indignities, and when you study the history of slavery, you find out that the worst of what was depicted on the screen is the PG version, despite what people might whitesplain to you. In The Birth of a Nation, we would finally get to see a story where there is a person who could have been my ancestor, who stopped taking the shit dished to him, who fought for his autonomy. His uprising was brutal. He took no prisoners, and he eventually got caught and was executed, but this was not a story about his torture and death. Finally.
Now, imagine my surprise when, in the midst of all of the Olympic coverage, I see posts popping up either demonizing or defending Nate Parker, the writer/director of The Birth of a Nation. Demonizing and defending for what? Apparently, 17 years ago when he was in college, he was accused of sexual assault. He was exonerated in court, but his roommate was sentenced to 6 months for his point, and even his record was expunged. We can never know for sure, but looking at the woman’s complaint against the school, it looks like there’s a lot to be asked about his version of events. The obligatory slut shaming and bullying of the victim of the victim doesn’t help things either. We’ll never be able to ask her side of the the story now, because she committed suicide in 2012. I’m not sure how many people who “just lied for attention” would go to that length for attention. Remember Lizzy Seeberg?
Parker said he’s devastated over this news, but this was after an interview where he used one of his daughters as a human shield against tough questions. He also brought up that he has a wife and daughters, so he’s better now! That is a total Trump move though: Do something terrible to women, and then claim you adore them and parade a few around. I just hope Parker doesn’t want to have sex with his daughter, too.
Of course, there is the thought that these rape allegations are all a plot by The Man™ to take down another successful black man, as is The Man’s™ evil plot: option a brother’s hard work for the largest multi-million dollar deal in the history of a film festival, rave about him for months, and then throw him under the bus mere months before his film is supposed to premiere worldwide. The money lost making all that happen is TOTALLY worth ruining one black man’s life. Besides, it is not like the entire story was concocted. Events definitely happened at Penn State involving Nate Parker.
As stated, there is no way to know what truly happened, and I am dismayed that I found out about this since I was actually excited about seeing his film. I got a little bit less dismayed when I found out another few things he said and did in that last few years. Back in 2014, he declared that he would never play a gay character. His reason? He wants to “preserve the black man”. He also went in on Hollywood for “effeminizing” black men”, in an effort to diminish our race. If that isn’t the most hotep shit I’ve heard this week...The idea that being gay makes one less than a man is a worldwide false trope, but in the Hotep Bible, it’s one of their prime tenets. Anything “feminine” is wrong, including women, but they’ll still pretend that their misogyny is reverence. A “feminine” man, however, is just a no-no. Regardless, his premise is bullshit. Gay men have been more than the stereotype that Hollywood likes to depict, and playing a gay role that has depth doesn’t make one less than a man. The irony is that in his determination to feed into the homophobia to fight white supremacy, he is perpetuating a European import to Africa and the Americas. Also, how exactly is he “preserving the black man” when he has a white wife? Hypocrisy is a major key to hotepping as well.
Whether Nate Parker did commit an act of sexual violence or not will be a major question that only now he can answer. Given his statements two years ago, though, I can’t say I’m entirely in his camp. Hoteps, especially ones who claim they are trying to “preserve their race”, are usually as misogynistic as they are homophobic. I am not sure who defined it best, but it is said that homophobia is the fear that another man will treat you the way you treat women. If he did it, he may not even consider what he did as rape, as many rapists think they are entitled to the women they assault, so it COULDN’T be rape. The fact that he bullied the victim does not help his case one bit. I’m not sure if I’m going to see The Birth of a Nation yet. Though initially I would say that I wouldn’t, we should remember that art and the artists may be two different things. I was hung up about A Different World and The Cosby Show for a while, but I remember my beef is not with the shows, but one actor/producer on it. What he produced were positive depictions of black families and young people. What he “allegedly” did when the cameras weren’t rolling is reprehensible, and whatever legal punishment he may get will not erase his “alleged” crimes.

Given that Nate Parker never admitted or apologized for even the bullying that he administered on this woman who took her life, the very least he could do is to give a portion of the profits of his film to an assault counseling center. That is if he is truly repentant. Something definitely happened that puts his integrity into question. One thing is for sure: his case is the first I have seen where a black dude was able to white privilege his way out of it.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Apologize to Gabby Douglas & Stop Pretending Ryan Lochte Isn't a Skank

As much as I love the Olympics, I hate the media coverage of the Olympics. They focus on thing on which I don’t care, and I didn’t realize how ridiculously sexist the coverage is. If I were an alien visiting the earth, I would think that female athletes have to relinquish their names and only be addressed by their husbands and fathers in order to compete.
A Real American Hero
The only thing worse than the media coverage is the American people watching the game. For the most part, we’re pretty good, but it only takes a few to plant the seed of dickishness against an athlete. This year’s target was also Olympics 2012’s target: Gabby Douglas. After winning gold in the team gymnastics event, People were “furious” that she didn’t put her hand over her heart when the National Anthem was played. I have two words for “people”: Fuck you. You’re incensed that Gabby Douglas neglected to put her hand over her heart? Her love of country is now in question? It doesn’t matter that she LITERALLY bent of backwards numerous times representing the USA in order to gain victory in front of millions of people from all over the world, so that we could add to our collective stash of gold medals? I throw much shade at your accusations. This has nothing to do with her “patriotism”. I’m sure the same people who have been throwing Gabby Douglas under the bus are the ones who said nothing when Donald Trump did the same crime of heart-uncovery recently. The standards are so double.
You’d think that black people would have Gabby Douglas’s back when she was attacked for the Hand-Over-Heartgate. Sadly, black people are too concerned over the look of Gabby Douglas’s hair than how she was being depicted as a non-patriot. So many tweets about her edges. People saying that she has the money to get her hair “done”. Guess what, black people? Fuck you , too. You train hardcore all your life, even more intensely for four years, edge out hundreds of other talented gymnasts, make it to Rio, once again, LITERALLY bend over backwards to win gold, and see how your hair looks. If you work out the right way, your hair is going to get a little messed up. This isn’t Planet Fitness, it’s the Olympics! Even so, HER HAIR WASN’T MESSED UP! Gabby Douglas is a black woman. Her roots are curly, and they get tighter when she sweats her ass off winning a medal in your dumbass names. That’s what black hair does. You know this, because YOU ARE BLACK, TOO. Her edges aren’t messed up. Her edges are the Line of Freedom™.
See how much cuter you are when you smile?
As if that weren’t enough, She was berated for not smiling on camera when she didn’t make the all-around finals, even though she finished third, behind two other US gymnasts. It’s disrespectful? It’s “unsportsmanlike” to not be happy? No; we’re just assholes. Douglas doesn’t need to smile 100% of the time in order to be happy for her teammates who made it. She may have been disappointed in herself and analyzing what she could have done better. Or maybe it was just her face. She didn’t look angry to me. Gabby Douglas suffers two faux conditions. She has “Resting Bitch Face”. White women have been told to smile for years, because if they don’t have even a hint of a burgeoning grin on their faces at all times, then they are OBVIOUSLY total bitches. Black women suffer from RBF as well, but it is complicated with “Resting Angry Negro Face”. This “illness” is seen when a black person is not almost cracking a smile, as though they are about to rip off their coats to show that they’ve been wearing tuxes and dresses the whole time, ready to dance and sing and shuck and jive at any moment, in the office, at the store, or just walking down the street. If we don’t have that smile on our faces, then we are OBVIOUSLY angry about something, and we will explode any second. Fun Fact: RANF is the cause of 24,901 miles walked annually by whites having to cross the street so that they don’t become the victims of our potential Angry Negro Rage™  when they see us walking toward them. That’s the circumference of the earth! That is per scared white person. Gabby Douglas’s RBF and RANF will plague her for the rest of her days. Apparently, only straight white men can have the coveted expressionless “Face”. Meanwhile, McKayla Maroney and Michael Phelps can have screw faces, and they get to be memes. Phelps even had a hoodie on for his!
Skank in the Pool

While we reflect on the ridiculousness of the attacks on Gabby and the shade throwing to the point that she was in tears, Let’s talk about another incident that happened outside the stadiums. Ryan Lochte was busy getting robbed by policemen at a gas station. Except that’s not what happened. Ryan Lochte vandalized a gas station bathroom and then paid the gas station owner for the damages, but he reported to the public that he was robbed at gunpoint by thieves dressed as policemen. It turns out that was all a lie. While many are incensed, I don’t think people get how messed up this is. In lying about the robbery, Ryan Lochte took advantage of an already negative image of Brazil and Rio de Janeiro, which has its problems with crime and corruption. He spun a hyperbolic yarn that he knew most would believe, because he knew that the public would expect it and still be shocked. He garnered the sympathy that he wanted, and he returned to the US by the time detectives figured out that he lied. He pretty much just white privileged his way out of trouble THAT HE CREATED. Nice. It’s not like this is a new thing. I hope that the lot of the people in the US who are “shocked” by Lochte’s lie know that some of their ancestors did the same type of yarn spinning on American soil back in the day to black, brown and Asian people. They would make
What happens when liars lie.
up a lie about being robbed or beat up or worse and then form a lynch mob and torture and kill innocent people. When it was found out that the person or persons the mob killed had nothing to do with the crime, or that the crime in question never happened, people would just shrug it off or excused it by thinking that “their kind” are dangerous anyway, so what’s the harm? We still don’t know exactly how many died from lynching. We think about 3,500, but it’s likely more. So lying about a crime to cement a negative stereotype about brown people is as American as using privilege to get away with it.
The apologists are already in full force. Mario Andrada, a spokesman for Rio 2016 has already stated that he doesn’t even expect an apology from Lochte and his cohorts, and that they made a mistake, and we should “just move on”. Except they didn’t make a mistake. They destroyed a bathroom for no good reason. They lied about it to the police and the public, and they garnered sympathy that was undeserved, and as of this writing, they have yet to admit that they were caught in a lie, and the ring leader is in the US already, free of any real punishment. “Give these kids a break”, Andrada said. Lochte is 32. It is interesting, because last Olympics, the media made Lochte out to be the Goofus to Michael Phelps’s Gallant. Lochte was the arrogant skank until Phelps got caught smoking America’s favorite kinda drug, marijuana. But now he’s just a zany kid getting into mischief. He is far from being a kid, though. He is well into mid-adult skankiness with his actions. The irony is that he is 30 and labeled a “kid”, but black and brown ACTUAL kids are always seen as being older than what they are. Props to Andrada for enabling Lochte’s privilege powers.
For all these shenanigans, Everyone needs to apologize to Gabby Douglas for being such assholes to her. She has likely done more for this country than any of her detractors. For Gabby Douglas herself, I think she should go to or, and get one of those genaeology tests to determine her countries of origin. Next Olympics, she should join one of THOSE gymnastics teams. In fact, just to piss off the black people talking about her hair more than her performance, she should join whatever European country shows up in the results (She’s American black; there is DEFINITELY a European country in the mix). She should perform in the biggest afro possible, like a time-lapse afro, where when she turns he head, it takes a second for her ‘fro to turn. That afro should be so big that it will need to try out on its own. And then when she wins gold for Denmark or England or Portugal or whereeverthefuck, She should look directly at the American news cameras, and flip them off with a shit-eating grin. Simone Biles may want to take notes. She may be taking selfies with Zach Ephron now, but don’t think they won’t turn on her with such pettiness.


Monday, August 8, 2016

Suicide Squad Goals: A Reasonable Critique of Critics

Man, for a movie that was a box office hit, critics sure did hate Suicide Squad. It is certified “rotten” on Rotten Tomatoes with a 25% average rating among all critics and 19% among “top” critics. It is not uncommon that the disparity between what critics say and how the public react to a movie is wide, but wow...Viewers seemed to like Suicide Squad enough money and time to garner it over $135 million in box office sales. It’s Will Smith’s highest grossing opening weekend since I Am Legend, which was only $77 million! So what’s up, critics? Why so sour on the Squad?
The plot of Suicide Squad was shaky even in the comic. The US Government picks out the worst of the worst of second-tier captured supervillains and tasks them to execute covert missions that perhaps tread into a moral grey zone that groups like the Justice League wouldn’t touch. If they go rogue or go out of bounds of the mission, “Task Force X” will terminate them with a mini explosive implanted in the backs of their heads. If their ill deeds go public, the government can just throw them under the bus publicly and disavow any knowledge of their role in funding the super-assailants. Isn’t that a ridiculous plot? The US Government funding monstrous people in hopes that they’ll do good things for them? That would NEVER fly in real life...well, except maybe for when we funded Osama bin Laden. And Saddam Hussein. And the Contras of Nicaragua. And the time the US government gave all of those Nazi scientists jobs after World War II. And…
I digress. I saw Suicide Squad the day that it opened, for NYC prices. $15.95 for a 2-D matinee? Is Jared Leto going to lick my face at the end? WTF, New York?! Even though it was almost $16, it was worth it. I would have been mad if I paid the $35 and fresh kidney needed to see the 3D IMAX version, though. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I saw it. It’s a comic book movie about bad buys who do good. The plot in and of itself isn’t that original. Every other action movie has a similar “let these bad guys do good things” premise; it’s just that one of the bad guys in this one is a cannibalistic reptile man, and another one breathes fire. The writing wasn’t that great, but who the hell goes to a comic book movie for the writing? This isn’t an Octavia Butler adaptation!
There WERE a few things that made me laugh because they were sad choices. All of the main “bad guys” had elaborate Ocean’s Eleven-esque flashback motage scenes, where we learn about their abilities, their backgrounds, and how they got caught and incarcerated. All, except for one guy named Steve*, who was good with rope-play or something. He just showed up at their first assignment.
“Oh gee, I wonder if any of these bad guys is going to die on the mission. What do you think, Steve? [BLAM!!!!] ...Steve?”
Seriously, why not just put him in a red shirt and give him a tri-quarter, and call it a day?
Despite all of the hype around Harley Quinn, she was but an ancillary character to add a bit of deadly, humorous chaos to the fringes of the story. She was funny, and I liked her character, but she was not in any way the center of the show. My biggest fear was that because Will Smith was in it, he was going to ham it up as he usually does, and I’d come out thinking the movie should have been subtitled The Fresh Prince of Belle Reve. Much to my enjoyment, he hammed it up a little bit, but he played a pretty solid Deadshot. By the 1980s and 1990s, Deadshot wasn’t just some evil assassin who killed indiscriminately. He had a moral code, and he followed it. He has a broken family that is strained by his “profession”. He cares about his daughter and (at least in the comic) had a son who died pretty brutally. As choppy as the writing was, a 3-dimensional Deadshot was illustrated quite well.
By the way, the amount of angrection™-addled fanboys that come out of the woodwork to lament about how their childhoods are forever ruined because there’s a black Spider-Man or woman Thor or Pakistani Muslim Ms. Marvel or female Ghostbusters team did not come out of their tear-flooded basements en masse to hate on Will Smith’s casting. What’s up with that? Is it cool to Rule 63 and Rule 1963** your “favorite childhood characters”, as long as they’re bad guys? All the shade AND the lamp to which it is attached is thrown to you, comic book trolls.
Will Smith and Viola Davis carried the movie. Viola Davis played Amanda Waller perfectly. In the comic, Amanda Waller has been a staple in the DC Universe as one of the most ruthless, tactful, and good-but-evil entities in the world, and she has no superpowers! She stared down Superman and has cursed out Batman, referring to him IN COWL as “Bruce”. She is not to be fucked with. Imagine if Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, Olivia Pope, and Papa Pope formed Voltron. Together, They would be scared to cross Amanda Waller. I was afraid she would be watered down in this movie adaptation, like she was in Green Lantern and Arrow. NOPE! Waller was ruthless AF. There was a part in Squad where, right when you were resigned to a de-clawed Amanda Waller, she does something that makes you go, “Oh THERE it is.” It made me happy.
I know a lot of people were mad at the the portrayal of Jared Leto’s Joker, and that lack of screen time that Harley Quinn got as she tried to reunite with her pale faced lover throughout the film. Others criticized Harley Quinn’s look, which has evolved from its original harlequin style full body onesy to a pair of boy shorts and a really tight t-shirt. I get it. It is as if they were going for a specific demographic in wardrobe. It was a little bit silly that everyone else was clad in leather and armor, but Harley was wearing what you’d expect a college student to wear in her house on a hot day. People griping about her lack of screen time, or that she was the “highlight”...nooooo. Harley was a big personality, but to applaud her, I don’t know. For one thing, her relationship with the Joker is probably one of the least healthy ones in comics, and Thanos wants to fuck Death itself! It is abusive and manipulative on the Joker’s part, and it always bothered me that she was created for a CARTOON. In solo Harley Quinn books, she has come into her own as an individual, but man, her relationship with the Joker was always like if Ike and Tina murdered people for fun when they weren’t fighting. I was a bit nervous about this Harley depiction just because of that. I must say, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Joker definitely hits her in the cartoon. As for Jared Leto’s joker, yes, he looks like if a juggalo and Eminem had a baby, but he was nowhere near as bad as people made him out to be. He seemed a lot like the Mark Hamill Joker of the cartoon. He was bent on crime, and he killed for fun, and randomly. Dude killed a guy for looking at his girlfriend AFTER HE INVITED HIM TO LOOK AT HIS GIRLFRIEND. I’m fine with this portrayal of Joker. I’d like to see Leto do it again.
Despite my unimportant opinion, critics HATED Suicide Squad. Why??? I saw a lot of the reviews, saying that the premise was a bit ridiculous, and that taking such an ancillary comic book and trying to make it a big name movie was a bad idea. I wouldn’t throw shade were it not for the fact that a lot of the haters of Suicide Squad gave rave reviews for Guardians of the Galaxy, a movie based on an ancillary book full of side characters that was turned into a big movie. It has a talking tree and a machine gun toting raccoon! Nothing about that movie made sense on paper! Still, Galaxy was a hit nearly everywhere! What is up with all of the shade for Squad? Is it that the movie was carried by two black characters instead of Harley Quinn, as most people expected? I’m not saying that anyone was being blatantly racially biased, but when the box office sales were carried highly by black and Latino people, and by women who I hope are fans of the Solo Harley Quinn, it makes me wonder. Most of the bad reviews came from old white men who let Guardians and Expendables get a pass. It seems that as we keep trying to get more diversity on the screen and behind the scenes, we should probably be pushing for more diversity in the analysis as well.
Suicide Squad will NOT be my favorite superhero movie, not as long as Civil War is around, Blade is still available, and Black Panther is still in development. Also, Luke. Motherfucking. Cage. I throw shade at the massive amount of shade that it received, for being exactly what Hollywood churns out: a hyper-violent action movie with some sexual innuendo and lots of punny dialogue. But with a dude who breathes fire.

*The guy’s name is NOT Steve. I just said “Steve”, because who the hell cares? You’ll forget that he died. Bonus: It wasn’t a brother!

**I call Rule 1963 of the Internet the rule that if there is a white character, there is a brown/yellow/red/black version somewhere. Think Steve Rogers and Isiah Bradley and Sam Wilson, or Kal-el and Calel, or WOnder Woman and Nubia. You’ll see it a lot in Cosplay, but if there is an actual rule number for it, let me know. Until then, Rule 1963.

Friday, August 5, 2016

The Korryn Gaines Case Is an Irony Turducken

Before you even say anything, yes, I am aware that Korryn Gaines had a rifle in her hands at the time of her death. I am also aware that the police said that she threatened them with said weapon. I am also aware that the police were serving a warrant to her for an unpaid traffic violation. From these three details, one could say that the death of Korryn Gaines was well within the realm of a reasonable police action.
That is, until you consider some more details. Korryn Gaines was holding her son in her hands when she was killed. Her son was hit as well. The warrant for Korryn Gaines was a supplemental action that the police decided to execute on top of another warrant that they needed to serve for someone in the house. She had a history of mental illness. She had also complained about lead poisoning in her water supply. There are hypotheses she considered herself a sovereign citizen. Also, let me repeat this one more time. SHE WAS HOLDING HER SON IN HER ARMS WHEN SHE WAS KILLED. HER SON WAS HIT AS WELL.
Also, let’s talk about the legitimacy of Baltimore County Police Department’s version of the story for just a second. I grew up dealing with the Baltimore County and Baltimore City Police from high school to adulthood. It was not unusual for me to be stopped, to search my bags and pockets, to detain me on the way to or from school for anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes. Sometimes I was given a reason, but most times the reason was, “Shut the fuck up or I’ll arrest you right now for [insert bogus charge here]”. The one time I was actually arrested, it was because I finally snapped. I watched one Baltimore County officer spray pepper spray into a crowded line outside a skating rink in order to disperse it. The main streamed happened to hit a young boy who was convulsing on the ground. Chaos ensued. A few fights broke out. My friend was slashed with a box cutter for no apparent reason. As I sat in the passenger seat of my friend’s car, as the police demanded everyone to go home, an officer nonchalantly said, “I don’t even know what’s going on”. I told her exactly what was happening, albeit audibly, a giant hand pulled me out of the car and slammed me onto a squad car. Not surprisingly, their version of what happened was nearly completely aberrant to what actually happened. I was 19 at the time. The regular stops didn’t stop until I was 22, when I started filling up my passport with stamps. For that reason, and all the times I was stopped and frisked before “stop and frisk” was a coined term, I have a hard time putting my full faith into what the Baltimore County Police say was the series of events that lead to Korryn Gaines’s death. Already, we’re learnign that the police requested Facebook to shut down her page, since she was videoing it live and attempting to stream it. I guess that banner that Facebook draped on their CA headquarters was regarding some OTHER black people. Perhaps they meant to write “Black Jack Matters”.
The only thing that we can say for sure is that a mother is dead, and it was essentially all over a traffic violation summons. If you cannot see the sorrow and absurdity of that, then you are likely a lizard person disguised as a human.
THe funny thing is that if Korryn Gaines WAS part of the “sovereign citizen” movement, then why aren’t any sovereign citizens coming out to defend her defense of her home? She was armed for protection, so where is the NRA? I haven’t heard a thing from any of them. I suppose perhaps guns rights and sovereign citizenship are universal values, as long as you’re invading a wildlife refuge. Also, you should probably be white.
"Can't trust the po-lice! Unless a chick's
involved..." -_-
The only thing more absurd is that if not for the Internet, this likely would not have made national news. Perhaps that a child was wounded helped, but the lack of attention when a woman is involved in a police (or any) killing is not uncommon. The irony is that a black women created the #BlackLivesMatter movement, yet how many hashtags have you seen for Rekia Boyd, Kimberlee ­Randle-King, Natasha McKenna, Alexia Christian, India Cummings, or more recently Natasha McKenna, Jessica Williams, or Bettie Jones? How can one say #BlackLivesMatter when one doesn’t #SayHerName? In an instance of extra Twilight Zone-like WTFery™, #hoteps whitesplained to me why Korryn Gaines’s case may be questionable. It’s astounding! The same back bending that people use to question the validity of rape accusations (See Cosby Conspiracies) is now being utilized to excuse this fatal police action! Hoteps are doing the work for the white supremacists they claim to abhor! actually, nothing has really changed.

So right now, we have a Twilight Zone inside of a Twilight Zone: Sovereign citizens have been silent on this case of someone possibly defending her sovereign citizen rights. Hoteps are using white- and mansplaining tactics to not acknowledge that black women are suffering just as much as black men, all while still pretending to champion a movement that was created by black women. It’s an irony turducken. I haven’t seen this much insane plot twisting since Inception. Bottom line, If you use the term #BlackLivesMatter but don’t #SayHerName, you are yet another lizard person. We’ll find you.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Slut-Shaming Feminism: Why You Should Shut Up about Melania's Photos

In general, liberals love to claim that they are taking the true moral high road. They say that they are more mature and evolved in thought than conservatives. They call out the hypocrisy of conservatives touting “family values” and “morality” when discussing sexuality and gender politics, all while said conservatives get caught neck deep in the very “immoral” things they had been chastising. An anti-abortion senator will be found out to have paid for the abortion of an out-of-wedlock fetus to a prostitute. An anti-gay governor will be found to have a room full of on-call Rent Boys and a pool full of floppy dildos that he swims in a la Scrooge McDuck every night. Liberals eat this up and are all about talking about how terrible conservatives are. Well, given how they’ve treated Melania Trump thus far, it’s time that liberals shut the fuck up.
You guys suck.
After Melania Trump repeated Michelle Obama’s speech at the Republican National Convention, most of us were laughing, but quite a few people had straight up angrections™ over the incident. The tweetstorm was a maelstrom of people calling her everything from slut to skank to bitch. Not cool. Be mad that she lifted someone else’s hard work. Act incredulous that the same words spoken from Michelle Obama that garnered disgusting hate from conservatives now garnered praise and respect for someone espousing virtue. Joke that the Trump campaign thought they could explain away the plagiarism by quoting My Little Pony in their explanation. But the vitriol exacted at Melania Trump is ridiculous.
Now it comes out that she did numerous nude photo shoots 20 years ago. Now the same thing is happening. People are calling her slutty, calling her a bitch, yadda yadda. I don’t get it, though. These are the same people who admonished conservatives for spewing hate for women who were nude models and strippers. These people would celebrate anyone who was “brave” enough to get in front of a camera with nothing on but a smile. Now all of a sudden, Melania Trump is a slut for doing her job? She was a model in Europe. Europeans generally don’t have such a laughable hang-up about nudity that Americans do. Melania was a European model. She has a bunch of nude photos. Clutch the pearls. The fact that I’m hearing conservatives say that what she did was a “celebration of the human body” and that people should be ashamed of themselves for admonishing her for it, and that I’M AGREEING WITH THEM, shows how much liberals have lost the “moral high ground”.
Conservatives are far from off the hook in this instance, though. Let us not forget that it was the New York Post, a conservative rag, that re-published these photos, complete with an almost congratulatory article. The New York Post, who was silent when someone made a cartoon depicting Michelle Obama as a pre-op trans woman, attacked Malia Obama for going to Lollapalooza instead of the DNC, who derided one of her first national speeches, who spend more time talking about her outfits than her food and exercise initiatives, are now propping up Melania Trump as “brave” for her nudes. And let us not forget the new Republican platform that pretty much equates pornography and the adult entertainment industry with some harbinger of demise of human civilization. If what they say is true, turn the mere thought of a nip slip would cause Mt. Everest to blow its top and implode in on itself simultaneously, all while the fallen rise from the dead to consume the living. But Melania Trump's completely nude photo shoots are Judy fine? I'm sure Kentucky has banned art installations with less nudity than her pics. But still, conservatives who lost their shit when Michelle released a photo of herself in a sleeveless dress are all of a sudden coming to Melania Trump’s entirely naked defense. I throw all of the shade, and the lamp to which it is attached. These people have no legs for any of their arguments.
It looks like the New York Post baited libs to make negative comments about Melania Trump by posting these 20 year old photos, and libs took the bait. However, instead of showing who on which side of the political spectrum holds the high ground in the realm of society’s idea of “morality”, they’ve only exposed that both ends of the spectrum are wallowing in the mud in order to take down the other side. Also, everyone in America has a very contorted view of morality.

20 years ago, Melania Trump had a job, and she did it. Sadly, there are no pictures of Michelle Obama practicing law. Bottom line, liberal or conservative, if you are going after a presidential candidate’s family members previous deeds to bolster your argument, you’re pretty much garbage. You're both wallowing in the button of the outhouse, pointing at each other and shouting, "Look at all the shit in his face!" Stop slut shaming Melania Trump.
Definitely laugh at the plagiarism, though. That shit is funny.

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