Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What's in a Name? (A Rambling Post)

Names amuse me. They tell tales of ancestors past professions, of their deeds, of their failings, of ancestors' ancestors.

Smith and Cooper indicate that your personal forefathers were metal workers and barrel makers. Names like Erickson and Thomson show that your ancestors may have taken pride in their legacy, and were named after great people in their past. A name like Hancock means that someone in your personal history was a chronic, possibly public, masturbator. A name like Tugnutt...well, we can easily surmise what they did. A name like Washington or Jefferson indicates that you are of a line of two great forefathers of the USA...also, that one of your ancestors was banged by those forefathers...and you're probably black.

I have come upon a few interesting names throughout my day. I believe my favourite is Wellington Sackrider. That is an actual name. Wellington Sackrider. It is as though his parents said, "Well, he is going to get s*** for being a 'Sackrider'. What are a few more blows to his ego? Let's name him Wellington."

A name I recently had the pleasure of coming upon is Katherine Burnegger. No matter how you pronounce the name "Burnegger", it just sounds like a very violent hate crime. This was Katherine's married name. I wondered why she did not just keep her maiden name until I found out what is was: Killwhitey. I thought that was not too bad, but then I found out her middle name was Kleo. So Katherine Kleo Killwhitey's initials were just not savourable at all.

This is not a usual Chronicle, as you can tell. I just have not written in a long time, and need to speak of some nonsense. Live with it.

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