Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Never Say 'Never'...

I once said I'd never agree with anything that Michele Bachmann says, but I think it's time to eat my words.

I apologise, Ms. Bachmann. I, too, think you resemble a psychotic, necrophiliac, clown-clad, serial killer. :-)

Saturday, June 25, 2011


So you probably already know that both houses of the New York State Congress passed a bill that would legalise same-sex marriage in the state. You can click on any news site and get the full story, so no point in bothering you with that. There's really not much left to say that hasn't been said by much smarter people than me, but I will say a few things:
  • Justice, though slow, will eventually reign.
  • I feel like the high taxes I pay are definitely worth it in this instance, since our government actually did the right thing.
  • This makes me proud to be a New Yorker.
  • We beat you California! East Siiiiiiide!

Friday, June 24, 2011

LGBT Pride Month: Making Dude-Bros Question Their Sexuality Since 2000

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgendered History Month is in June, and my usual thing is to post something on my Facebook wall at the beginning of the month something to the effect of, “LGBT Month: Making Ed-Hardy, Axe Body Spray wearing dude-bros quietly question their sexuality since 2000”.

Since I hadn’t had time to do that, I figure another rant about equal rights and bigots would suffice. Any day now, the NY State Senate is going to vote on a bill that will make same-sex marriage legal in the state. This is a big deal, especially to same-sex couples who have been together for years, raised children, bought houses together, but still cannot visit them in hospitals, or make any decisions for each other if one should fall ill or be erstwhile incapacitated. I could go on a long rant about the arguments against gay marriage, but I am running late for work. Instead I pose this challenge: for anyone who is against gay marriage, give me ONE rational reason why it should not be legal for homosexuals to be able to marry, WITHOUT citing religious, social, personal, or moral objections, AND explain why your argument is Constitutionally sound, and I MIGHT change my mind. Until you can do that, shut the f*** up, and let people live their lives.

Now onto bigots…One thing I LOVE to hear during certain ethnic or social group months is, “When is White History Month”? You have NO Idea how much I just want to HUG a person the 28 times during Black History Month that I get to hear, “When is our month?” Then Women’s History month comes, and I get to hear it again! :-D Then Asian American Heritage Month rolls around, and I hear it another 30 times. During LGBT Heritage Month, I heard a little twist to this mantra: “When is Straight People’s Month”? This almost always is coming out of some middle-aged white man or a twentysomething dude-bro’s mouth. I just want to get these inquirers in a big room and hug them all with my lead pipe and lobotomy kit.

Do you know why there’s no White/Straight/Men’s Heritage Month? Because EVERY MONTH IS WHITE/STRAIGHT/MEN’S HERITAGE MONTH!!! White straight men are in charge of the world! White straight men conquered most every culture and steam-rolled their way to power. White straight men discouraged admiration for anyone else except straight white men! Perhaps had your ancestors not spent so much time suppressing every other culture that was not their own, perhaps if they embraced other cultures a little more instead of trying to destroy them, other (surviving) cultures would not feel the desire and need to have their own heritage-based months! You dominate the world. You dominate the economy. Technically, since you won all the wars, you can dominate the history books in your favour. Let us have our “months”. You still pretty much own the world. Just saying…

Friday, June 17, 2011

Why Did You Do That with Your Junk? All That Junk inside Your Trunks?

Anthony Weiner. ‘Nuff said? I don’t think so. I dare you to say his name without giggling just a little bit. It is the perfect name for a sex/lewd act scandal. So when the story broke that a picture of SOMEONE’S bulging underwear was sent to a college student’s Twitter account, and that SOMEONE was Weiner, I was not surprised.

Being the left-wing, Islamo-Semitic, fascio-socialist that I am, I wanted to believe that Anthony Weiner, the man who kept the 9/11 First Responders Health Bill in the public eye via vocal tirade berating the primary people who can barely for a sentence without invoking 9/11, was innocent. I wanted to believe he was hacked. His “victim” wanted to believe he was hacked. Everyone from left of centre wanted to believe he was hacked. This was also compounded by the fact that Andrew Breitbart, the Loki of the Right Wing, was the one who broke the story. He has a history of causing mischief and ruining lives on the basis of grotesque distortions. He even admitted that he would distort to perpetuate his agenda of political shenanigans. Of all people to break true story, why him??!!!

Unfortunately, last week, Anthony Weiner admitted to “inappropriate behaviour”, and [shudder] Apologised to Andrew Breitbart, who went on a gloating campaign, and showed more pictures that he claimed he wouldn’t. This week, Weiner resigned from his post as a US House Representative.

I’m not happy with that. The man did his job, and was fired for something that affected no one but him and the people to whom he was sexting. It is a matter of consequence to Weiner, his wife, and the women he texted. He was the definition of a firebrand and lived up to that description when it came to his job of representing his district, and it was always entertaining to see him prove his point to people who thought him just a hothead.

Don’t think me hypocrite; I don’t think that anyone should resign because of their personal trysts. All the Republican senators, representatives, and governors who resigned because they got caught banging male prostitutes and snorting coke off of amputee hookers’ stomachs while they make their illegitimate interracial transsexual offspring smack their a**es with leather replicas of the Constitution should have stayed in office. As long as it didn’t interfere with their jobs, then I don’t care. I do, of course wish them to leave because of their political views, but that is something different. Of course, if they were abusing their power by taking bribes or using state money to fund their hookers and coke binges, or if they raped someone, then OF COURSE, they should be ousted early. Barring those circumstances, let the voters decide whether they go come November. It was the voters who put them in power. When elected officials resign amid some personal “scandal”, it’s like they’re saying, “F*** you, I quit!” to their constituents. Maybe some want them gone. Maybe it’s embarrassing to keep coming into work after their BDSM furry fetish was splashed all over the news, but suck it up and do your job. I’d respect that more than quitting.

What’s done is done, though. Weiner’s out…ha…Breitbart, though vindicated in this instance, is still, and probably will be, an insidious sack of s*** who pretends to be a righteous activist and journalist. For the record, though, I will definitely always remember Anthony Weiner as the man who kept the 9/11 health bill alive to his hypocritical opponents’ chagrin, not they guy who redefined the phrase, “junk shot”.

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