I chronicle nonsense, mostly about the news, sometimes about pop culture. If you don't think it's nonsensical, then yell at me in the comments.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
She Is the Very Model of a Modern Major General
Friday, October 21, 2011
He Ain't Heavy...
Is Your Cat Bigger than a Bread Box?
- Why the hell are private citizens even allowed to have endangered, exotic pets? I don’t care how much you LOVE animals, they belong in the wild. The domestication of dogs and cats took possibly tens of thousands of years. We should stick to what we know. We are in a more enlightened time, where we can actually see and comprehend the effect we have on an ecosystem when we extract an animal and put it in a cage for display or as a “pet”. It’s not good for the animal, and even worse for the habitat from whence it came. Think “Butterfly Effect”, but with elephants and Bengal tigers.
- Terry Thompson had a history of animal abuse cases and a gun charge. He actually had his licence to exhibit exotic animals revoked, but he still had them. Why the hell did this dude have any animals? I don’t think he’d be fit to own a goldfish!
- This whole story is proof that a government without regulations on its citizens will lead to chaos…as if the Industrial Revolution didn’t do that already. Ohio’s animal ownership laws are the most lenient in the country, and the few regulations they had were not enforced. That’s why things came to this. These animals could have been put in a proper preserve, or re-introduced back into the wild if they were fit to do so. I would love to like Ron Paul, but his idea that the government should not have any involvement in individuals’ lives is too narrow. I am all for everyone doing everything they want to do so long as they don’t keep another person from doing the same, but there NEEDS to be some governing, because PEOPLE ARE SELFISH AND STUPID! Regulations don’t kill jobs and keep you from doing what you want to do. They are supposed to keep you from doing dumb s*** like OWNING A F***ING MAN-EATING CAT! Honestly, if the guy died at the hand (paw?) of one of his own “pet” lions, then I wouldn’t feel too sorry for him. The fact is, though, the animals were a danger to the surrounding community, even before he let them loose. Here’s a good test: is your cat bigger than a bread box? Yes? Then it’s too f***ing big. Send it to a wildlife preserve and get yourself a nice calico from the local shelter.
Monday, October 17, 2011
AARG!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
It's National Come On Out Day! :-D
- Allen, Robert. State House Representative-R, FL
- Spent his career aligning himself and his voting record with the Christian Coalition, who has a history of backing anti-gay legislature.
- Offered an undercover vice officer $20 if he could give the officer for fellatio. BONUS: his excuse was racist! He claimed that he was intimidated by the muscular black officer, and thought he was going to rob him. There is no robbery situation where I would offer oral sex to the assailant...unless it was Angela Bassett. Then I would dive in head first.
- Arango, Roberto. Senator-R, PR
- Voted to ban gay marriage in 2009 (the bill failed), opposes civil unions, and used a duck to make fun of a campaign opponent in 2004 (labeling someone a duck is a homophobic slur used in Puerto Rico).
- Used his smart phone to post naked pictures of himself to post on Grindr, a gay dating site.
- Ashburn, Roy Arthur. State Senator-R, CA
- Voted against every gay rights measure that came to the State Senate while in office.
- Arrested for DUI after having left a gay nightclub with another patron as a passenger. Admitted that he actually is gay.
- Bachmann, Marcus. Clinical Therapist, head of Bachmann & Associates
- Uses Michelle Bachmann as a beard. Heads up Bachmann & Associates, where he performs "ex-gay" therapy on homosexuals. Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't "pray the gay away" in therapy sessions. He holds the gay close, arms intertwined, bodies pressed together as one...HIS words.
- It's just a matter of f***ing time…
- Craig, Larry Edwin. US Senator-R, ID
- Attempted to push for a sever punishment for openly gay Senator Barney Frank amidst a gay prostitution scandal. Supported the ill-fated Federal Marriage Amendment. Promised to vote "yes" for an Idaho amendment that would ban same-sex marriage in Idaho.
- Alleged to have had cocaine and have seix with male teenage congressional pages in 1982. In 2007, convicted of lewd conduct when he inadvertantly propositioned an undercover officer for gay sex in a men's bathroom at Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport. Later denied being gay, then got voted out of office.
- Curtis, Richard. State House Representative-R, WA
- Opposed gay rights bill that banned sexual orientation-based discriminiation. Voted against recognising domestic partnerships for gay and lesbian couples.
- Met a gay porn star Cody Castagna at an adult book store and had sex with him in a hotel room.
- Dreier, David Timothy. US House Representative-R, CA
- Supported the Defense of Marriage Act, voted against gay adoption, voted against including homosexuals in a protected class in hate crime cases.
- Had a romantic relationship with his chief of staff, Brad W. Smith. Denied it, though it was a known "open secret".
- Haggard, Ted Arthur. Evangelical Pastor, Former leader of National Association of Evangelicals
- Supported Colorado's Amendment 43, which would define marriage in Colorado as only the union of a man and a woman.
- Maintained a 3-year relationship with a male escort, used methamphetamine with said escort, claimed to have been "cured", finally admitted being bisexual.
- King, Troy Robin. State Attorney General-R, AL
- Unsuccessfully attempted to enforce the Anti-Obscenity Enofrcement Act, called homosexuality the downfall of society.
- Middle name is Robin. Also, caught by his wife having sex with the Tory University homecoming king…Kind of narcissistic.
- Long, Eddie Lee. Senior Pastor, New Birth Missionary Baptist Church
- Led “homosexual cure” programs to recruit gays and lesbians for “Sexual Reorientation” conferences. Marched with Bernice king to the grave of Martin Luther King, Jr to promote a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage.
- Three separate men brought lawsuits against Long alleging he used his position of power to coerce them into sexual relationships, making them participate in "covenant" ceremonies.
- Murphy, Glenn Jr. National Chair, Young Republican National Federation
- Head of the f***ing Young Republican National Federation.
- Pled guilty in a sexual assault case where he performed oral sex on a sleeping colleague.
- Rekers, George Alan. Southern Baptist Minister, "Psychologist"
- On founding board of the Family Research Council. Former advisor of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, an association that promotes "aversion therapy".
- Photographed at Miami International Airport accompanied by a "RentBoy", who he claimed was just helping him with his luggage…even though he was photographed carrying his own luggage.
- Schrock. Edward Lee. US House Representative-R, VA
- Aggressiveley opposed any gay rights legislation while in office.
- Caught on tape having sex with a male prostitute; subsequently voted out of office.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Occupy Wall Street Occupies My Mind
Friday, October 7, 2011
Nobel Did Something Special for 3 Ladies in the World
Three women won the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize: Tawakkul Karman of Yemen, and Ellen Johnson Sirleaf and Leymah Gbowee, both of Liberia. People have been saying that the Peace Prize is a joke, mainly because people like Jimmy Carter and Al Gore were getting the award. The only reason naysayers were saying “nay” was because those are two of the most active liberal politicians in America. Say what you want about Carter and Gore; they still did exactly what they planned to do, and after their roles in office, they lived out their views as much as they could in their private lives. Carter has been a diplomat, he helped found Habitat for Humanity, and he never pulled his punches when he wrote or spoke. Gore brought attention to the plight of the planet by getting nearly as big as the world and f***ing up cherished parts of his life, mush like what we are doing to our earth right now…he also made a movie or something. You notice he’s a lot funnier and more charismatic now than he was when he was vice president? Regardless, if you hate liberals, OF COURSE you’re going to hate the Nobel committee’s choices!
The thing is that I almost believed that the Prize was a Joke when Barack Obama got it in 2009. The official reason for the choice in awarding him was, “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”. Let’s be honest, though: Barack Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize for not being George W. Bush. He was in the infancy of his first term! There are people who are standing up to hopelessly oppressive governments, putting their lives on the line non-violently in the face of threats of torture, rape and murder. But you give the prize to Obama??? I haven’t been George Bush for over 30 years. Where the hell is my prize? Obama didn’t even do anything yet. Since he got the prize, Barack Obama has dropped more bombs in Afghanistan and Iraq than the Phantom Sh***er at my job does on 2 for 1 Taco Day. He ordered a hit on a Somali pirate, numerous al-Qaeda targets, and had Osama bin Laden’s head exploded. It’s so funny, because the right keeps trying to paint him as a lefty-pinko p***y (when they’re not comparing him to Hitler), but if you look at the numbers, Obama makes GW Bush look like a flower-powering hippie! It’s like he received the NWA’s famous Aw Hell Piece Prize. If you get that, you have to murk as many mark-a** motherf***ers as you can within a year, but you have to turn your weapon sideways while doing so. Just imagine 30 Predator drones coming at you rotated 90˚. That’s when you know s***’s about to get real.
This year’s awardees are true peace advocates. Tawakkul Karman founded Women Journalists without Chains to fight for political, social, and press freedom in Yemen. Throughout the years, she’s led peaceful sit-ins in Yemen to further her cause. She’s been arrested numerous times for her “crimes” of free thought and expression. This year during the Arab Spring, Karman mobilised students to rally in the ironically-named Freedom Square in Sana’a. The best thing: SHE’S ONLY 32! Yeah…what the hell have YOU been doing with your life, huh?
Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is the first and ONLY female elected head of state in Africa! She was born poor, daughter of a miner, but persevered and eventually got her advanced degrees in America, then returned to Liberia to get involved in politics amidst a LOT of turmoil…I wonder if people taunted her with fake American birth certificates? She is so dedicated to getting her country on track that when the presidential house was victim to an accidental fire, she stated that the damage to the house was a low priority compared to the tasks ahead as president.
Leymah Gbowee once quipped, “If any changes were to be made in society it had to be by the mothers”. She stated this after having moved to Monrovia at the age of 17 and trained to be a trauma counsellor in the first civil war and worked with the wounded of Charles Taylor’s child army. She acted on her words and organised a nonviolent peace protest that ended Liberia’s Second Civil War. It also led to the first female African President. How badass is that? Again, I say, “What the hell have YOU been doing with your life?”
I hope that last year’s winner (Liu Xiaobo) and this year’s winners means that the Nobel Committee will stop playing politics with such a prestigious award and award it to people who truly deserve it, not just because they like someone because he/she is not George Bush. Kudos to them on their choices and to the women who helped changed this world…although if they DO start giving out the award for BS reasons, I want one for not being Snookie.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Shuttlesworth Is Getting Hensoned!
Fred Shuttlesworth, co-founder of the Southern Christian Leadership Committee, died yesterday, 5th October. He was Bull Connors’ nemesis in Alabama and an inspiration for both his contemporaries (Martin Luther King, for one). If you didn’t know this, it’s because Steve Jobs died the same day, and except for NPR, most of the news media have been covering his accomplishments all over the news, as if he were a messiah.
Don’t get me wrong; I have no issues with Steve Jobs. He was a brilliant mind, and his anti-establishment ideas about technology made him a true maverick in the computer world. Not like “gotch’ya, ‘real’ American, ‘lame-stream media, see-Russia-from-my-house” maverick, I mean a true rebel, but with a clue. Jobs was canned by his own company, but he STILL kept going, buying Pixar, re-envisioning media access to the world, and striking fear into the hearts of formulaic, establishment corporations that thought their standard would be the ONLY standard for the world. I’m sure that many Apple products have been used the many revolutions of this year in the Mid East, and probably in Iran, Russia, China and other governments to convey the thoughts of those who still don’t have the luxury of being able to speak their minds without lethal repercussions. He took this itty-bitty world by storm, and he was JUST getting warm…ßYes, I just said that. However, let’s be honest with ourselves, near the end, Jobs, the rebel without a DOS, slowly became against what he rebelled. The once-open source App Store has been getting locked down more and more as time has passed. There is a following that eat up EVERYTHING he said, did, or promoted as if it were gospel, even if they had inherent flaws. Remember the antenna problems with the first iPhone 4? Apple wouldn’t even admit there was a problem, and then put out a laughable video about how others’ phones have a flaw too. Many of the consumers of Apple products nearly worship the man, and are as creepy as every other religious zealot. Should you dare say anything contrary to what is said in the Book of Jobs to a Machead, and you’re bound to get the glare only afforded to a heretic, or a woman who knows math in the 1600’s, or a woman who knows math in Mississippi, for that matter. After a while, people started going to Android as a rebellion against Mac. Steve Jobs became the machine against which he was raging.
Fred Shuttlesworth, on the other hand, needs to get his due credit. He scared the s*** out of Bull Connor, to the point that even MLK, Jr said that Fred was the most dangerous man in the South. If you don’t know who Bull Connor is, then get the f*** off my blog, go back to school, and read a book. If ever there was a personification of bigotry in America, it was Bull Connor. Hank Williams could have compared Connor to Hitler and been on point…of course knowing him, he probably would have sided with him. Shuttlesworth was the heart and soul of the Birmingham Movement. His rhetoric was even more mobilising than Martin Luther King’s, as it appealed the younger generation as they realised that the system needed to change. He stared down Klan members as they were throwing very valid threats at him to leave town. His church was bombed. His house was burned down. He faced mobs that hated everything for which he stood. He and his advocates faced fire hoses, angry dogs, and who-knows-what in jail. Through it all, he stayed resilient. Before Malcom X, Shuttlesworth was the Magneto to MLK’s Professor X. Even after the height of the Civil Rights Movement, Shuttlesworth became a strong advocate for the poor. He didn’t stop going, even in failing health.
As of this post, all the news outlets seemed to have done a Jim Henson on Shuttlesworth though, so you won’t hear too much about his accomplishments. I don’t think this is a “brown people are less important” thing, though. It’s not like it was a pretty white girl that got kidnapped. I’m certain it’s because the “news”, left, right, and center, are really part of Starf***ers, Inc. The popular, not the most important, gets the most airplay. Sure, Steve jobs was an innovator, but Fred Shuttlesworth was a f***ing American hero. I would likely not be here writing this were it not for him. Rest in peace to both.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Shuttlesworth
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birmingham_Campaign
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Jobs
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