Monday, November 15, 2010

This Is the Remix Edition of That App about Pissin'

http://appadvice.com/appnn/2010/11/testing-stds-coming-iphone/. Click on that link. Read what it says. There will be an app where you can check to see if you have STIs via urine test. After more research (all net based, so questionable), you won't be peeing directly on your phone, but rather on some sort of applique that you insert in the phone, which will give you the results.

I laud researchers for thinking of this, but I am quite certain the researchers do not get out much. I can think of two scenarios that would come of this application, if it took off.

Scenario 1:
A guy is at a bar chatting up a woman, and is about to get her number.

GUY: So may I call you some time?
WOMAN: Sure!
[Guy pulls out phone]
WOMAN: [Sniff, sniff] What's that smell?
GUY: Oh it's, um, nothing...
WOMAN: It smells like pee...is that coming from your phone?
GUY: Um...
WOMAN: Did you pee on your phone?!?
GUY: Well, you see, there's an app for that(tm). You use it to check to see if you're positive for STDs. But hey, the dot's blue, which means I'm clean! Isn't that a bonus?
WOMAN: So...you peed on that phone in your hand. that same hand you shook mine with.
GUY: Well when you put it like that, it sounds wrong...
[Woman walks away to talk to someone who doesn't like to go R. Kelly on his electronic equipment].

Scenario 2:
A guy is at a bar chatting up a woman, and is about to get her number.

GUY: So may I call you some time?
WOMAN: Sure!
[Guy pulls out phone]
WOMAN: [Sniff, sniff] What's that smell?
GUY: Oh it's, um, nothing...
WOMAN: It smells like pee...is that coming from your phone?
GUY: Um...
WOMAN: Did you pee on your phone?!?
GUY: Well, you see, there's an app for that(tm). You use it to check to see if you're positive for STDs. If the dot's blue, you're clean, and if it's red, you should see a doctor.
WOMAN: So...you peed on that phone in your hand. that same hand you shook mine with.
GUY: Well when you put it like that, it sounds wrong...
WOMAN: Wait, why is it red?
GUY: Well, s-sometimes there are false negatives...
WOMAN: You peed on your phone, and your pee is diseased, and you shook my hand with that disease-pee ridden hand???!?!?!
[Woman projectile vomits and walks away to talk to someone who doesn't like to go R. Kelly on his electronic equipment...or has the clap].

I'm all for checking your health, but if I have to pee on my phone to do it, then...no...That's what doctors are for...

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