Friday, June 17, 2011

Why Did You Do That with Your Junk? All That Junk inside Your Trunks?

Anthony Weiner. ‘Nuff said? I don’t think so. I dare you to say his name without giggling just a little bit. It is the perfect name for a sex/lewd act scandal. So when the story broke that a picture of SOMEONE’S bulging underwear was sent to a college student’s Twitter account, and that SOMEONE was Weiner, I was not surprised.

Being the left-wing, Islamo-Semitic, fascio-socialist that I am, I wanted to believe that Anthony Weiner, the man who kept the 9/11 First Responders Health Bill in the public eye via vocal tirade berating the primary people who can barely for a sentence without invoking 9/11, was innocent. I wanted to believe he was hacked. His “victim” wanted to believe he was hacked. Everyone from left of centre wanted to believe he was hacked. This was also compounded by the fact that Andrew Breitbart, the Loki of the Right Wing, was the one who broke the story. He has a history of causing mischief and ruining lives on the basis of grotesque distortions. He even admitted that he would distort to perpetuate his agenda of political shenanigans. Of all people to break true story, why him??!!!

Unfortunately, last week, Anthony Weiner admitted to “inappropriate behaviour”, and [shudder] Apologised to Andrew Breitbart, who went on a gloating campaign, and showed more pictures that he claimed he wouldn’t. This week, Weiner resigned from his post as a US House Representative.

I’m not happy with that. The man did his job, and was fired for something that affected no one but him and the people to whom he was sexting. It is a matter of consequence to Weiner, his wife, and the women he texted. He was the definition of a firebrand and lived up to that description when it came to his job of representing his district, and it was always entertaining to see him prove his point to people who thought him just a hothead.

Don’t think me hypocrite; I don’t think that anyone should resign because of their personal trysts. All the Republican senators, representatives, and governors who resigned because they got caught banging male prostitutes and snorting coke off of amputee hookers’ stomachs while they make their illegitimate interracial transsexual offspring smack their a**es with leather replicas of the Constitution should have stayed in office. As long as it didn’t interfere with their jobs, then I don’t care. I do, of course wish them to leave because of their political views, but that is something different. Of course, if they were abusing their power by taking bribes or using state money to fund their hookers and coke binges, or if they raped someone, then OF COURSE, they should be ousted early. Barring those circumstances, let the voters decide whether they go come November. It was the voters who put them in power. When elected officials resign amid some personal “scandal”, it’s like they’re saying, “F*** you, I quit!” to their constituents. Maybe some want them gone. Maybe it’s embarrassing to keep coming into work after their BDSM furry fetish was splashed all over the news, but suck it up and do your job. I’d respect that more than quitting.

What’s done is done, though. Weiner’s out…ha…Breitbart, though vindicated in this instance, is still, and probably will be, an insidious sack of s*** who pretends to be a righteous activist and journalist. For the record, though, I will definitely always remember Anthony Weiner as the man who kept the 9/11 health bill alive to his hypocritical opponents’ chagrin, not they guy who redefined the phrase, “junk shot”.

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