Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Michelle Obama Made a Trump Supporter Apologize Without Doing a Thing

We have seen all the hilarity and chaos over Melania Trump doing what white people in America did to make this country what it is: take the credit for making something that was really the hard, uncredited work of a black person. When she plagiarized Michelle Obama’s 2008 speech, she claimed ahead of it that she wrote it herself. Trump claimed it. Fox News used the excuse that she used words that are common. Trump aids quoted Twinklebutt Rainlight from My Little Pony on live TV to prove how M. Trump’s speech used just common themes. Other conservatives tried to claim that her speech just reflected basic American values.

It definitely did, which is why Michelle Obama wrote it 8 years ago. Here’s the thing that no one can defend: in MelaniChelle’s speech, she used the term, “your word is your bond”. THAT’S A BLACK PEOPLE PHRASE! Have you not listened to 90’s conscious hip-hop? Real woke brothers have been saying that for years! The only white people who say that are the ones who hang with black people, and last I checked, Melania’s crew is pretty melanin deficient. Her husband’s spray tan doesn’t make him “colored”. “Word is bond” is where ya messed up, Mellie! In her defense, though, I’m sure the rest of the Trump camp thought the phrase was some translated Eastern European proverb or something. You know their asses never heard of Sadat X!

All this talk is burying the lead, though. Two things happened in the wake of this controversy beside the Trump Mansplanation Machine getting revved up to 11. For one thing, MelTrizzles proved that Republicans really do like what the Obamas have to say. They said that they were “inspired” by the speech. This is the same speech that the same Republicans said they hated 8 years ago. We saw this with Obamacare and the President’s war tactics. All of these things that were championed by Republican governors and presidents before, but since it was Obama, the policies are tyranny or socialism or ineptness or whateverthefuck. So Melania Trump does Michelle Obama’s speech, and now it’s trill? OK. So it’s just the packaging for the delivery that you don’t like. You don’t like what Brown can do for you; you want [Whatever the hell FedEx’s motto is]. Got it. You all just showed your asses.

The second thing that happened: hours ago, Meredith McIver, the Trump aide tasked with checking/editing Mel Treezy’s speech, issued an apology for not being more diligent in her duties. She apologized to both Trumps and Mrs. Obama.  She even offered her resignation, but Trump didn’t accept it. This is huge. Thanks to this speech debacle, someone in the Trump campaign apologized. Let me re-type that properly…

MICHELLE OBAMA GOT A TRUMP SUPPORTER TO APOLOGIZE! She didn’t even lift a finger! None of the memes spreading came from the White House. That was all us! Do you not see? The key to calm and harmony is Michelle Obama! She is the black Madonna, or as black people call her, “Madonna”! We just need to get Melania to plagiarize more of her stuff! Let’s have her plagiarize her health measures! Have Michelle Obama talk about climate change and immigration policy! We put the wrong damn Obama in office with the wrong damn running mate!
Obama/Trump 2020!

…Just not the husbands.

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