Monday, August 31, 2009

Proper Noble Etiquette

A good leader leads by example. Therefore, Squire Bugiganga now knows that it is perfectly fine to berate his offspring via carrier pigeon while in the middle of training other squires, who also happen to be important liaisons from yonder kingdoms. The ensuing awkward silence and stares of bewilderment mean that they respect you and admire you.

Case in point: Squire Bugiganga proctored a two-week training class for a group of squires from the Land of the Stans. One part of the course was taught by ShaqsDad the Destroyer. Whilst teaching, his carrier pigeon beckoned with a question from one of his younger offspring. He immediately stopped in mid-sentence and took care of the issue he had with the child. It was definitely more important than his task at hand:

So now what you want to do is ma-[pigeon beckons, The Destroyer answers]…Yes?...No…No, Thaddeus! Do not call your mother!...The jar is in the right cabinet…Shut up…shut up, and listen to me!...The right cabinet, where it always is!...Then look there!...[Squires from the Land of the Stans look in bewilderment and slight fear]…Thaddeus, if you cant find it, then find something else to eat!...Do not call me back…Do not!...Goodbye, Thaddeus.

Moments later, Thaddeus called back:

What?!...It’s IN the CLOSET!...I said that before!...No!...No, I did NOT say “cabinet”!...You know what? Call your mother. I don’t have time for this…LOOK IN THE CLOSET!

When he put his carrier pigeon away, the Squires had a look of horror and disdain on their faces. They were so impressed and enamoured by ShaqsDad’s mid-training interruption. They were so enamoured, they nearly dropped their contract with the Kingdom of MoronDor.

Squire Bugiganga is very happy to have such great leaders to emulate. He now knows the best way to treat a customer. He will forget all the etiquette he learned in his previous kingdoms, one of them being a Noble himself, and learn this new, abrasive way of action. Boy, Squire Bugiganga is so happy, he could kick a Care Bear.

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