Thursday, July 28, 2011

When "Dick" Might Get Less Giggles than "Rick"

If you didn't already know, Dan Savage is responsible for redefining Rick Santorum's name so that the first hit you get when you Google it is this. There's a whole Wikipedia page about the neologism, plus explanation. The reason Santorum means this is because the original Rick Santorum had some very disparaging things to say about the homosexual community back in 2003. Mr. Savage was infuriated, and decided to redefine his name. The lesson? His recent signing of a slavery-lauding pledge shows his views haven't really changed.

So now, Dan Savage is threatening to redefine Mr. Santorum's [giggle] first name! It is uncertain what the full meaning is because the Funny or Die video is bleeped out through most of it. Whatever is said is enough for Rick Fox, Rick Dees, and Ricki Lake to plead with Mr. Santorum [giggle] to heed Dan's warning: DON'T TALK ABOUT GAYS ON HIS CAMPAIGN!

That's all he has to do. It's not much to ask. But the second he does, it is so on. I usually would say the collateral damage of all the other Ricks in the world, and the reluctance of a generation of Americans to name their new sons "Richard" might be worth it to make Rick Santorum a laughing stock again. However, I have friends named Rick. I don't want to look at them and laugh uncontrollably, because that will happen. So please, Mr., leave your narrow views locked up in your last-place campaign. For the love of all Dicks out there, don't make Dan strike again.

[...Psst! Dan! If for some reason hell froze over and you actually are reading this, f***ing do it, man!]

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