The 2016 Presidential polls show a neck and neck race right now. Supporters on both sides are getting nervous, because this is unprecedented and NEVER happens 2 months out of the general election...except for when it happened in 2012. And 2008. And 2004. And 2000. And 1996. And…
The bottom line is that now more than ever (with the exception of 2012, 2008, 2004, 2000, 1996, etc.), the candidates should not rely on just the demographic voting blocs that they usually garner, The Donald Trump especially. Sure, he’s got the white supremacist vote on lock, but he’s been trying to garner support from African Americans and Hispanic Americans. So far, he’s polling among these two groups at close to 0%. He’s basically got Uncle Ruckus, Omarosa, Ben Carson, and the Mexican guy who promised us taco trucks on every corner, and one of these people isn’t even a real person. Everyone knows Ben Carson is a cartoon.
Since his outreach efforts among black and brown people have yielded very little, I would like to give him some tips that might help him garner more positive attention and views from increasingly important voting bloc. Maybe, just maybe, if he follows these steps, he’ll get a higher percentage of the black and brown vote than 3 people and a cartoon:
- Stop lying and admit when you’re wrong.
Black people be contrite, yo! The Donald Trump has a long record of belting out things, both online and live, that are just plain wrong. He never owns it. For example, in the 1980s, he called for the deaths of the Central Park Five, a group of black and brown teenagers who were accused and convicted of a malicious assault and rape of a female jogger in Central Park. When DNA proof and the confession of the “man” who ACTUALLY committed the crime exonerated the Five, they rightfully sued New York City in 2002. They eventually settled for $41 million in 2014, Trump took pen to paper to call the settlement a “disgrace” and said that “settlement doesn’t mean innocence”. That is true, but DNA EVIDENCE AND A CONFESSION FROM THE REAL CULPRIT DOES.
Come on, The Donald. Just admit you’re wrong on this, and other things. Admission of a mistake makes you more human. It also makes you look more mature. Only spoiled children refuse to admit when they’re wrong.
- Stop lying and apologize.
¡Los mexicanos aman disculpas! The Donald Trump added fuel to the smoldering remnants of birtherism regarding the President of the United States a few years ago. That fire was almost out in 2011 with Orly Taitz’s suits continually failing and her getting fined for her lawyer misconduct. The Donald Became the new spearhead of the movement, claiming that he sent “investigators” to Hawaii, claiming that Israeli scientists deemed Obama’s “long form” birth certificate was a fake. He lit up Twitter with tweets about how Obama wasn’t born here throughout the 2012 election cycle. Now that he’s a candidate, he just brought up the non-issue, claiming that he finally proved that Hillary Clinton’s “birther” campaign is finally at an end, because of his exhaustive investigation to prove that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii.
You ain’t got to lie, The! We KNOW you took up the reigns of the birther movement, which was in its death throws before you revival, and put it back in the news! Even I thought that the birther movement was a Clinton invention, but it was really some of her extreme surrogates who started the panic, and she promptly disavowed their credibility. That is something you have yet to do regarding your extremist surrogates. How can you stand there with a straight face and say that you were not heading up the birther movement? Do you realize we have Google? Do you not know that you never delete a tweet, so we can go back and see every tweet you’ve twatted? All you had to do was apologize for such a wasteful mess, The, but you just can’t seem to do that.
- Stop lying and research your target demographic.
Whoo! Black people looove being pandered to! The Donald Trump started his campaign with a speech that demonized brown immigrants, and specifically Mexicans. He said that they were bringing in drugs and crime and that they were rapists. The DID say that some of them, he’s sure, were good people, but the majority were not. If by “some of them”, The meant 98.4%, then he is correct. Of the 11.2 million undocumented immigrants living in the United States, roughly 178,000 of them are the criminals of which The speaks. Of those, 121 of them were charged with murder. That means that we are still statistically more likely to be victims of crime from a white guy from Mississippi than a brown guy from Michoacán. When confronted about his allegations, he said, “Well SOMEBODY is doing the raping!” He should know, since HE HAS A PENDING RAPE CASE.
In an effort to garner more African American Support, he used wording that sounded like he was a deadbeat trying to convince a bored, uninterested bar patron to have a fling with him. He characterized black neighborhoods as run down with failed schools and dilapidated houses. His exact words were, “You're living in poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs, 58 per cent of your youth is unemployed, what the hell do you have to lose?”
Well, given your want to go back to a previous time, our freedom.
Rates of poverty among African Americans is higher than the national average. We’re at 27% compared to the national 15.1 percent. That is quite high, but that also means that 73% OF BLACKS DO NOT LIVE IN POVERTY. Even the 58% is a false flag. He likely includes people in college and high school in this statistic, because the number is really 18.7%. I would like for The to bring that speech to Prince George’s county, the one of the nation’s highest concentration of middle- to upper-class African Americans, and see how that speech flies. Also, he can’t really speak to the state of African Americans’ living conditions when his real estate firm was sued for denying housing to African-American families.
This speech hit an especially sensitive nerve, since I went to a majority black public school. It was a magnet liberal arts school. You had to apply to get in, and I was on a waiting list. From there I went to an HBCU to study Electrical Engineering and then was hired 6 months before I got my Bachelor of Science at one of the largest engineering firms in the country. My starting salary was $3,000 more than my white co-hires. Our schools are so bad…If only I could have gone to better schools, I could be an astronaut or Jesus or something. I’m so sad…
- Stop lying and Change your slogan
Seriously, every non-white, non-cis man is a little bit disturbed by the phrase, “Make America Great Again”. We’re all thinking of a time in the history of the country when America was great, and how that happened. The 1980s weren’t “great” for the LGBT community. An AIDS epidemic was killing a lot of young people, and because it was perceived that only gay men could get it, the government actively ignored and joked about its spread instead of doing research to fight it. The 19th Century wasn’t “great” for women. They couldn’t vote, they couldn’t own property, and even up to the 21st century domestic violence and spousal rape are codified as acceptable. Manifest Destiny was not a “great” time for the indigenous people. Sure we got “from sea to shining sea” because of it, but how many people were killed or displaced because of it? The 1600s to 1865 weren’t “great” for blacks in America. They helped build the economy at the birth of the nation, involuntarily and for free, and as thanks for their efforts, they were abused even further, with a biased penal code, redlined housing, gratuitous lynchings, and a movie called Birth of a Nation...the rapey one, not the one by the rapey one.
If you can find a time when America’s greatness wasn’t polished with the blood of a minority group, then please keep the phrase. But I know you can’t, so just stop.
- Stop lying and quit the race
Motherfucker, do you really think any of us would vote for your racist, sexist, lying, cheating ass? How many agencies are investigating you for fraud? How many people did you grift to gain your wealth? You claim that you have a great relationship with “the blacks”? You only know that the best way to identify a racist is when they put an article in from of an adjective, make the adjective a noun, and apply it to a group of people, right? You are backed by David Duke. You might have raped a teenager. YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. We would vote for a petrified cat before we vote for you! We would vote for a bag of ferrets on cocaine! You have NOTHING to offer the nation. I still think you’re just playing a giant practical joke on the nation. You retweeted an article TALKING about how you are playing everyone! No way any person of color is wasting their vote on a bloated moldy Aryan mandarin with baby hands, who HATES PEOPLE OF COLOR! WHy should I waste my vote on a racist? I wish I had more hands, so that i could flip you off in sextuplet. I wrote this whole essay with just my middle fingers! GTFOH! NO!